# # Manželský pár z Minneapolis se rozhodl odletět na Floridu, aby
# # se vyhnul obzvlášť studené zimě doma. Manželka potřebovala v
# # zaměstnání dokončit
# # ještě nějaký úkol, a tak se rozhodli, že manžel poletí ve středu a jeho
# žena
# # jej
# # bude následovat až příští den. Manžel po příletu do Miami v hotelu
# zjistil,
# # že má ve svém apartmá dispozici i počítač s internetovým připojením.
# # Rozhodl se tedy poslat manželce e-mail. Při psaní adresy ale vynechal
# jedno
# # písmenko, chybu nepostřehl, e-mail tak odeslal na
# # špatnou adresu. Mezitím, kdesi v Houstonu, se vracela jedna žena z
# pohřbu
# # zesnulého manžela. Její choť byl po mnoho let významný činitel, tudíž
# přišlo
# # velké množství kondolencí včetně i e-mailů. Vdova se rozhodla poštu
# přečíst a
# # už po přečtení prvního e-mailu hlasitě vykřikla a v mdlobách se sesunula
# k
# # zemi. Výkřik zaslechl její syn,vyběhl do místnosti, uviděl matku ležící
# na zemi
# # a na stole běžící počítač.
# # Na monitoru pak četl následující:
# # Komu: Mé milované ženušce
# # Předmět: Jsem na místě
# # Datum: 16. ledna 2004
# # Vím, že budeš mým e-mailem překvapena. Tady totiž jsou počítače taky a já
# ti
# # tedy můžu o sobě poslat zprávu. Právě jsem dorazil. Jak vidím, vše je tu
# # připravené i pro tvůj zítřejší příchod. Moc se těším, až tě zase uvidím!
# # Doufám, že tvá cesta sem bude stejně bezproblémová jako byla ta moje.
# # Tvůj milující manžel
# # P.S.: Tady dole je opravdu horko.
_______________________________________________________________________
> > Chlapík jde do důchodu a za ušetřené peníze si chce
> > koupit něco, po čem vždycky toužil - sportovní auto. Udělá to a hned
> > vyrazí na dálnici, když se za nim náhle objeví policejní auto. Chlápek si
> > pomysli: "Mám Ferrari, ujedu mu jako nic!" - 160, 180, 220. Pak si
> > pomyslí: "Přece se nezabiju" a zastaví.
> > Policajt k němu dojede a říká: "Už jsem slyšel ÚPLNĚ všechny výmluvy,
> > ale mám dneska dobrou náladu, takže když mi řeknete něco, co ještě
> > nikdo nezkoušel, nechám vás jet." Chlápek povídá: "Jsou to dva dny,
> > co mi manželka utekla s policajtem a já myslel, že mi ji vezete
> > zpátky".
> > "JEĎTE!!!!"
_______________________________________________________________________
# # # # #
# # # # # # On hledá ji: Hledám ženu do třiceti let, pak už na
to seru...
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Vyměním sekundové lepidlo za třísekundové.
# # # # # # Zn. NESTÍHÁM LEPIT!
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Jste mladý, vzdělaný, zkušený a komunikativní? Jste
připravený
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cestovat po
# # # # # # celém světě?
# # # # # # Pokud ano,tak běžte do prdele! My hledáme truhláře..
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Hledá se tchýně, kdo jí najde, dostane přes držku.
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Mladý, pohledný, dobře zabezpečený muž s vysokoškolským
# # # # # # vzděláním dobrými kontakty. Mám dvě auta, rodinný
dům a vilu v
# # # # # # Karibiku.
# # # # # # ZN: nehledám nic, jenom se chlubim...
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Inzerát cestovní kanceláře z Ukrajiny:
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# # ale
# # # # # # byl jsem pít a nemohl jsem dva dny přijít k sobě, natož
k Tobě...
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Po hodině vyjde ze záchodu bledý a zpocený muž.
# # # # # # Ptají se ho: "Co jste tam dělal tak dlouho?"
# # # # # # "Onanoval jsem."
# # # # # # "Tak dlouho?"
# # # # # # "Víte, nejsem svůj typ!!"
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Novomanželé vycházejí po svatebním obřadu z kostela.
# # # # # # Kolemjdoucí kluci se na sebe zašklebí a jeden z nich
řekne:
# # # # # # "Vystrašíme je?"
# # # # # # Druhý neváhá, rozběhnou se k nim a křičí: "Ahoj
tati....."
# # # # # #
# # # # # #
# # # # # # "Byli jste už na Štrbském plese?"
# # # # # # "Ne, my chodíme na hasičský."
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Stojí dva kosmonauti na Měsíci před raketou a jeden
říká
# # # # # # druhému:
# # # # # # "Nekoukej na mně tak blbě, já jsem nezamykal!!"
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Slon se ptá velbloudice: "Proč máš svá prsa na hřbetě?"
# # # # # # "Hmmm", odpovídá velbloudice, "Zajímavá otázka od
někoho, komu
# # # # # # visí šulin z ksichtu...
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Horká novinka z jednání fotbalové Sparty - večer
by to mělo
# # # # # # být ve
# # # # # # zprávách!
# # # # # # Novým trenérem Sparty bude sbormistr Kulínský, který
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# # # # # # konečně naučí, jak vniknout do šestnáctky.
# # # # # #
# # # # # # Někdo klepe na dveře, pán otevře a tam stojí malá
smrtička s
# # malou
# # # # # # kosičkou a povídá: "Pane přišla jsem si pro vašeho
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# # # # # # Pán říká: "Neotravuj a vypadni."
# # # # # # Za půl hodiny zase někdo klepe na dveře, pán otevře
a tam
# # # # # # stojí velká smrt s velkou kosou a malá smrtička s
malou kosičkou.
# # # # # # Ta malá říká "Mami, to je on...."
# # # # # #
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 12:08)
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 9:48)
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 7:26)
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 6:16)
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 5:03)
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 3:53)
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 2:43)
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Commencing upon a judicial journey necessitates competence, and our seasoned crew deals in securing one's rights having steadfast loyalty. Through misdemeanors to multifaceted criminal charges, our counsels carry the abundance in competency toward this table.
Understanding the Essence of the Risk-Absent Assessment**
Participate in a consultation devoid regarding fiscal worries – the uncommon opportunity which distinguishes our jurisprudential offerings apart. During such obligation-free session, we analyze one's matter, decipher prospective strategies, and furnish perspectives into the legal pathways available for one's case. Your voyage towards a robust representation starts in this manner, absent the burden of initial economic commitment.
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Legal complexities could be overwhelming. This legal team spotlight lucid dialogue, retaining the client apprised at each phase. Our commitment regarding clarity ensures one comprehend the subtleties of one's case.
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(Marioaffib, 17. 12. 2023 1:36)
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(Donaldannes, 17. 12. 2023 0:51)
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Showcasing Exceptional Legal Support: San Diego Criminal Defense Lawyer
(Michaelfex, 18. 12. 2023 2:29)